So today, instead of paying homage to Columbus and his Ninas and Pintas, reminiscent of my grade school days where whoever wrote the best essay on the discovery of America got to read it to the whole school, Lucy and I wanted to do a "word of the day" type thing, a word which would never be the topic of a third grade essay contest.
Today's word is Butt Plug.
Okay, that's two words, but you get the idea.
Now, with most sex toys, everything stems from something, you know? A vibrator is like a penis. Shackles inspire memories of perhaps that time you were arrested by the cops. Whips, gags, jungle juice (it's a room deodorizer, folks) - each of these items were all used for something besides sexual pleasure at one time.
So what;s the deal with the butt plug, right? I mean, what else could it be used for other than to shove it up your ass? A paperweight, maybe? Did some guy in an office, all overworked and stressed out by deadlines and the like, suddenly one day take a look at his paperweight and think, "hmmmmm....."
The truth is, no one ever really thinks about their assholes. Aside from about 15 minutes a day, we maybe even forget we have an asshole. And I'm not talking about my upstairs neighbor, either. If you have yet to embark on the sexual gratification that comes from anal stimulation, gents AND ladies, you're missing the Santa Maria. (homage.) Like Columbus discovering America, you, my friend, need to explore the unknown, and often taboo territory that is The Asshole. (more homage.)
Whether it's with a well-lubricated pinky finger, a string of anal beads, the aforementioned and more impressive butt-plug, or the full-on anal-intruder known as The Fist, you will be embarking on a journey to the most intense orgasmic experience you ever thought possible. For men, it's the back-door-entrance to prostate stimulation, for women its another way to discover that often hard to find G-spot.
So close your eyes, and imagine your asshole as a beautiful blooming rose of passion... Think of what Columbus must have felt when he saw land from afar after 24 years at sea (whatever.) He gasped in amazement, I bet, and then made his Vikings row harder and faster and promised them frankenscence and myrrh upon their arrival...
Yeah...
The asshole is kinda like that...
But without the vikings.
Today's word is Butt Plug.
Okay, that's two words, but you get the idea.
Now, with most sex toys, everything stems from something, you know? A vibrator is like a penis. Shackles inspire memories of perhaps that time you were arrested by the cops. Whips, gags, jungle juice (it's a room deodorizer, folks) - each of these items were all used for something besides sexual pleasure at one time.
So what;s the deal with the butt plug, right? I mean, what else could it be used for other than to shove it up your ass? A paperweight, maybe? Did some guy in an office, all overworked and stressed out by deadlines and the like, suddenly one day take a look at his paperweight and think, "hmmmmm....."
The truth is, no one ever really thinks about their assholes. Aside from about 15 minutes a day, we maybe even forget we have an asshole. And I'm not talking about my upstairs neighbor, either. If you have yet to embark on the sexual gratification that comes from anal stimulation, gents AND ladies, you're missing the Santa Maria. (homage.) Like Columbus discovering America, you, my friend, need to explore the unknown, and often taboo territory that is The Asshole. (more homage.)
Whether it's with a well-lubricated pinky finger, a string of anal beads, the aforementioned and more impressive butt-plug, or the full-on anal-intruder known as The Fist, you will be embarking on a journey to the most intense orgasmic experience you ever thought possible. For men, it's the back-door-entrance to prostate stimulation, for women its another way to discover that often hard to find G-spot.
So close your eyes, and imagine your asshole as a beautiful blooming rose of passion... Think of what Columbus must have felt when he saw land from afar after 24 years at sea (whatever.) He gasped in amazement, I bet, and then made his Vikings row harder and faster and promised them frankenscence and myrrh upon their arrival...
Yeah...
The asshole is kinda like that...
But without the vikings.
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