If a penis could talk, which would be scary, what would it say about October 31st?

"Happy Halloweenie!"

Okay, okay... we know. Shut the hell up. But come on - to third graders that would be hysTERIcal!

But of course, a cheezy intro like that means we have a specific topic here.

Or maybe we just wanted to say "Halloweenie..."

(I need a vicoden.)

No, no - we have a topic, which, of course, is Halloween. That time of the year that stresses everyone out because they finally have the chance to be whatever they want to be, but now they have to come up with the Idea. There's only ONE DAY out of the whole year that you can be someone completely different, so you dont want to fuck it up by throwing a sheet over your head, makin some eyeholes and calling yourself a ghost. If you're not 2 feet tall, that's just not cute anymore.

That's why you need to shop here at Eros Boutique. Because as well as having anything you would need for your sexual fantasies, we have nearly everything you might need for Halloween. Except for face paint, vampire teeth, or any other crap you can get at CVS. We're talking about the Halloweenie (hee hee) need for latex, leather and rubber, the whips, chains and ball-gags. So you can be the slut or gimp you've always wanted to be!

For the couples... Please... Spare the world another lame representation of Fred and Wilma or Ward and June. And don't even think about doing the Ozzy and Sharon thing. They're gonna be everywhere. Now is the time to introduce all that kinky shit you've always wanted to try but never had a reason or the balls to...

Happy Halloweenie!

Ladies, how about dressing up like a dominatrix... Oh, you've already thought about it? Well then if youre gonna do it - DO IT RIGHT.

Let's get the crucial issue out of the way first - the Dress. Look no further, because we have the Dominatrix Dress. The name says it all. And just like anything else you put on in the morning, it's all about how you accessorize. You need a whip, you need fishnets, possibly some thigh-hi boots, and BAM! Now you're cookin - just like Emeril. But that's another costume for another year...

Now, ladies, bring out the Gimp. (For those who have been living under a rock for the last few years and haven't seen Pulp Fiction, your Gimp is your Slave.) We have everything you need for him as well. A collar, the leash, the ball-gag, how about putting his monkey in a cage? Hmmm... He may like that, so use your discretion. We can scare him if needed.
Goin solo? Ever had a hankerin to be in Hannibal the Cannibal's shoes? Or at least his mask? Try this on for size. Masks. Boy do we have masks. Sadly, none of them come in a box like they used to back when we were kids, when you strapped a piece of plastic to your face and donned a tablecloth with sleeves and VOILA! You're Charlie Brown! No, these are serious masks... All which make their point. And all which will make other people jealous that they dont have one to call their own.

Or, if you're the more creative type and have an almost intolerable amount of patience, we have the Liquid Latex Starter Kit. Apply a few coats (allowing it to dry 5 to 10 minutes in between each coat) and you have a custom-made rubber costume. Or, if you're really gung-ho on the whole ghost and witch Halloweenie tradition, pick up some Bondage Rubber Strips. Useful for binding, restraining or wrapping yourself up like a mummy. 3 to 4 rolls will give you total mummification. Good times. Not too sticky. And sure beats Charmin.

And last but not least, for those of you who have 20 minutes to get to the biggest party of the year and STILL haven't done anything about a costume, you can always hog-tie your partner and carry him or her around on a stick like a hobo.

See? Something for everyone...

Happy Halloweenie!