Hello Eros Fans!
Today's topic is "Stuff You Never Thought to Use for Sex but Somebody Somewhere Did."
At one time, we had our own doubts about the following products - doubts such as, "Why didn't anyone think of this before?" and "Why on earth did somebody come up with this idea?" and "Why do we sell this here?"
But gradually, we came to accept the ideas, and even understand them. Yes, we may still shake our heads and laugh, but it's still our job to inspire the public to try something new, so we don't shake our heads that often.
So first off, in the "Why didn't anyone think of this before" Category, we have the Sensual Bath Buddy. Which is basically a vibrating sponge. It's absorbant and durable, and it has "powerful vibrating action." So now, when you've come home from a long day at the butcher shop and stink of salami, and you feel like gettin off in a nice warm bath, this little doozy kills two birds with one stone. It cleans, refreshes, and will make you cum in less time than it takes for you to rinse the shampoo from your hair. It's like the Veg-o-Matic - "it slices! it dices! it julliennes fries!" Only not quite as violent.
Second, in the "Why on earth did somebody come up with this idea," we have the Cock-Sucking Mirror. Which, basically, needs no description other than that. If you've ever wanted to see what you look like while you're giving someone head, which I personally don't, the receiver just pops this handy little thing over HIS thing and, well, there you go. Kinda like pay-per-view. But free. Aside from the cost of the mirror.
And now we have two items in our final category: "Why do we sell this here?"
ThumbCuffs. Now, the box says, "Designed for Official Police Use." And, well, they obviously are - they don't glow in the dark, there's no fur on 'em, and the instructions on the box are complicated enough that I, personally, would be scared to use them, because things that need that much instruction, well, the ADD takes the fun out of it. And, one actually has to come into Eros to buy a pair - maybe a keen marketing plan to get people away from their computers and out shopping in the real world. But, as far as we know, its the only product in our store that says "KEEP AWAY FROM CHILDREN." With everything else, its pretty much a given. The manufacturers of the ThumbCuff probably never saw the potential uses coming.
And finally, saving the best for last, we have...
The Snake Bite Kit.
"For Campers, Hunters, Hikers and Home. This comes with two large high-suction cups for multiple bites, one small high-suction cup for small surfaces, an easy-to-use lymph constrictor, a scalpel, an antiseptic swab and complete instructions."
That's what the packaging says.
When Lucy first came across it, she thought that maybe someone left it here accidentally, but then noticed the Eros price-tag on it. So we pondered. We finally came to the conclusion that the suction cups are used for "nipple-action." And the lymph-constrictor actually resembles one of our cock-rings, and as for the antiseptic and the scalpel... well I guess those are kinda like a bonus prize. Like how the bank gives you a free back-pack when you open up a new account. Again, you only get the free back-pack when you open your account AT the bank, get it?
So there you have it, folks. The 4 products out of the hundreds we carry that left even the pros baffled for a bit. So, much like a Guru would offer the Meaning of Life to those who ask, we're just showing off how smart we are, whether you care or not.
Today's topic is "Stuff You Never Thought to Use for Sex but Somebody Somewhere Did."
At one time, we had our own doubts about the following products - doubts such as, "Why didn't anyone think of this before?" and "Why on earth did somebody come up with this idea?" and "Why do we sell this here?"
But gradually, we came to accept the ideas, and even understand them. Yes, we may still shake our heads and laugh, but it's still our job to inspire the public to try something new, so we don't shake our heads that often.
So first off, in the "Why didn't anyone think of this before" Category, we have the Sensual Bath Buddy. Which is basically a vibrating sponge. It's absorbant and durable, and it has "powerful vibrating action." So now, when you've come home from a long day at the butcher shop and stink of salami, and you feel like gettin off in a nice warm bath, this little doozy kills two birds with one stone. It cleans, refreshes, and will make you cum in less time than it takes for you to rinse the shampoo from your hair. It's like the Veg-o-Matic - "it slices! it dices! it julliennes fries!" Only not quite as violent.
Second, in the "Why on earth did somebody come up with this idea," we have the Cock-Sucking Mirror. Which, basically, needs no description other than that. If you've ever wanted to see what you look like while you're giving someone head, which I personally don't, the receiver just pops this handy little thing over HIS thing and, well, there you go. Kinda like pay-per-view. But free. Aside from the cost of the mirror.
And now we have two items in our final category: "Why do we sell this here?"
ThumbCuffs. Now, the box says, "Designed for Official Police Use." And, well, they obviously are - they don't glow in the dark, there's no fur on 'em, and the instructions on the box are complicated enough that I, personally, would be scared to use them, because things that need that much instruction, well, the ADD takes the fun out of it. And, one actually has to come into Eros to buy a pair - maybe a keen marketing plan to get people away from their computers and out shopping in the real world. But, as far as we know, its the only product in our store that says "KEEP AWAY FROM CHILDREN." With everything else, its pretty much a given. The manufacturers of the ThumbCuff probably never saw the potential uses coming.
And finally, saving the best for last, we have...
The Snake Bite Kit.
"For Campers, Hunters, Hikers and Home. This comes with two large high-suction cups for multiple bites, one small high-suction cup for small surfaces, an easy-to-use lymph constrictor, a scalpel, an antiseptic swab and complete instructions."
That's what the packaging says.
When Lucy first came across it, she thought that maybe someone left it here accidentally, but then noticed the Eros price-tag on it. So we pondered. We finally came to the conclusion that the suction cups are used for "nipple-action." And the lymph-constrictor actually resembles one of our cock-rings, and as for the antiseptic and the scalpel... well I guess those are kinda like a bonus prize. Like how the bank gives you a free back-pack when you open up a new account. Again, you only get the free back-pack when you open your account AT the bank, get it?
So there you have it, folks. The 4 products out of the hundreds we carry that left even the pros baffled for a bit. So, much like a Guru would offer the Meaning of Life to those who ask, we're just showing off how smart we are, whether you care or not.
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