Whats the last thing that goes through a bee's mind when he hits your windshield?
His butt.
Third grade again, but we had to have an intro --
so Buzz Buzz Buzz...
Vibrators. How I Love My Vibrators.
They don't talk, they never say they're going to call and then don't, they don't make you sit through football on TV (unless you like that kind of thing) and the only way for them to disappoint you is when their batteries die.
And then you can just go get new ones.
Simple, easy and without aggravation. You don't have to listen to them bitch or buy them dinner. No need to impress with new underwear or leg-shaving, they don't care.
So tonight we're going to tell you about our favorite Vibes.
For a good, standard beginner's Vibe, the French Silk by Spice. For something that needs only 2 AA batteries, it has amazing power, and it feels like Teflon -- no stick, baby -- smooth, sleek and sexy, and comes in a variety of colors, for those folks where color matters. There's no wacky hook-up or harness that could frighten away the new Vibe User -- you look at it and know exactly what to do with it. Just how things should be.
After that long, hard day at work, and all you want to do is go home and take a nice hot bubble bath, have a few glasses of wine while you're chillin in the tub, don't forget to take along your new best friend, the Chubby G. This is the waterproof version of the Nubby G, and let me tell you, I jumped for joy when this powerful little g-spot massager found a home on the Eros shelves. Why is it so fabulous? Because you can actually hit your g-spot with this baby and it has intense clitoral stimulation. But it's all about the g-spot, as we all know. So gettin clean has never been so much fun, unless you're two and just got a pack of those bathtub fingerpaints that kinda smell like balloons. Those were fun... But we grow up... Sometimes.
Now, for the Mother Teresa of all Vibes. We've all heard of the Rabbit. This isn't it. This is the MMMDeluxe version of the rabbit. And we owe it all to Jenna Jamison, because without her, and the good people at Doc Johnson, we would never have Jenna's Beaver. The shaft vibrates, the balls rotate, and the clit stimulator (beaver) has 5 functions for a powerful stimulating sensation! What that means, is it doesnt just vibrate, it buys you dinner and tells you you're gorgeous. But also, it pulses, it surges, it escalates, and EVEN HAS A ROLLER COASTER FUNCTION.
Screw 6 Flags.
So there you have it. Why plastic is better than a penis. As if there was ever any question...
Guys, you have a lot of work to do... Start with some research.
His butt.
Third grade again, but we had to have an intro --
so Buzz Buzz Buzz...
Vibrators. How I Love My Vibrators.
They don't talk, they never say they're going to call and then don't, they don't make you sit through football on TV (unless you like that kind of thing) and the only way for them to disappoint you is when their batteries die.
And then you can just go get new ones.
Simple, easy and without aggravation. You don't have to listen to them bitch or buy them dinner. No need to impress with new underwear or leg-shaving, they don't care.
So tonight we're going to tell you about our favorite Vibes.
For a good, standard beginner's Vibe, the French Silk by Spice. For something that needs only 2 AA batteries, it has amazing power, and it feels like Teflon -- no stick, baby -- smooth, sleek and sexy, and comes in a variety of colors, for those folks where color matters. There's no wacky hook-up or harness that could frighten away the new Vibe User -- you look at it and know exactly what to do with it. Just how things should be.
After that long, hard day at work, and all you want to do is go home and take a nice hot bubble bath, have a few glasses of wine while you're chillin in the tub, don't forget to take along your new best friend, the Chubby G. This is the waterproof version of the Nubby G, and let me tell you, I jumped for joy when this powerful little g-spot massager found a home on the Eros shelves. Why is it so fabulous? Because you can actually hit your g-spot with this baby and it has intense clitoral stimulation. But it's all about the g-spot, as we all know. So gettin clean has never been so much fun, unless you're two and just got a pack of those bathtub fingerpaints that kinda smell like balloons. Those were fun... But we grow up... Sometimes.
Now, for the Mother Teresa of all Vibes. We've all heard of the Rabbit. This isn't it. This is the MMMDeluxe version of the rabbit. And we owe it all to Jenna Jamison, because without her, and the good people at Doc Johnson, we would never have Jenna's Beaver. The shaft vibrates, the balls rotate, and the clit stimulator (beaver) has 5 functions for a powerful stimulating sensation! What that means, is it doesnt just vibrate, it buys you dinner and tells you you're gorgeous. But also, it pulses, it surges, it escalates, and EVEN HAS A ROLLER COASTER FUNCTION.
Screw 6 Flags.
So there you have it. Why plastic is better than a penis. As if there was ever any question...
Guys, you have a lot of work to do... Start with some research.
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